My daily battle with cancer and how Cindy and I are making it through each day is beautifully illustrated in a battle scene found in the book of Exodus in the Bible:
"The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites. Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.” So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army." (Exodus 17:8-13)
The daily cancer battle continues to be extremely hard...
It feels like I am daily getting weaker and weaker
I am pretty much reduced to listening to audio books or sleeping
With mobility very, very limited
In a deliberate progression
Towards my heavenly home.
And yet the weakness
Seems to be caused by the cancer treatment
And not the cancer itself
And so...we wait...
The doctor really has no clue what is going on with my body
Except hoping that it is being caused by the chemo
And will wear off after awhile (weeks? months?)
And bring some relief with the treatments discontinued.
Or will this be my new normal
For months and years to come?
So...we wait...
And as we wait...we battle...
Oh my...it is a battle
To feel so weak all the time.
Taking a nap
And waking up more tired than when I fell asleep.
Feeling foggy headed
Without the energy or capacity
To want to do anything
Except merely exist
Which let's you know
How important writing this blog is to me
Because of the energy it is taking!
So...WHY this blog?
To reiterate HOW MUCH we need YOU
To be victorious in this battle!
All through the day and night the battle rages:
How am I going to make it through today/tonight-this moment?
The pain, the weakness, the discouragement,
The reality that this could be my reality
For months and years to come?
It's not that I'm not fighting...
Praying, pleading for God's mercy and peace and rest
Meditating on truth
Listening to music
And yet the battle continues with an intensity
I've never come close to experiencing before
And know that I can never win on my own.
And so...
THANKFUL for YOU
Who are holding us up in this battle
As described in the battle scene in Exodus!
Several times in the last couple of days
Many of you have reached out to Cindy or myself
Out of the blue to let us know you are praying for us
Some of you that we've never even met!
Wow!
You can't begin to imagine what that means to me
To get such emails and texts and messages!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
That's about all I have the energy for tonight...
Dave
Dale and I continue to bring you and Cindy to our Lord to do HIS perfect will in your lives.
ReplyDeletePraying regularly for you Dave
ReplyDeleteHow I wish I had taken the time to jot the note that had been in my head all last week. You had been on my mind/heart during the day and night, sometimes [you can thank our dog who had me up for a potty break at 4:21 am or 1:13 am]. Praying for grace and strength.
ReplyDeleteI will hold you, Dave and Cindy up in prayer. You are on my mind often. My prayers are for your peace, rest and sanctuary in Him.
ReplyDeleteWe are praying for you both daily. I was sorry we missed you Friday. If there is anything we can do for you, don’t hesitate - just ask! We love you both!
ReplyDeleteGentle hugs,
Ru and Steve
It was good seeing you even for a brief moment.
ReplyDeleteYou are missed and prayed for everyday.
I’m so sorry So not what anyone ever should have to walk :( Praying for daily healing for you Dave , snd that this is just the chemo and will only last only season and you will get stronger . Thankyou for sharing Your walk with us Praying!!!!
ReplyDeletePraying often for you and Cindy. When you cannot pray, remember the Holy Spirit prays for you, and with you, and Jesus intercedes to the Father for you.
ReplyDeleteI have been prompted by the spirit many times the last few days to pray for you, day and night. Tonight I awoke in the middle of the night and checked your blog. So sorry to learn of your continued weakness. Will continue to hold you up in the battle!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing Dave. Praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteHi Dave, Moses was relying upon the strength of those around him. They brought a rock so he could sit, he rested on the rock....wow ,so beautiful. So sorry you are going through this. I am and will continue to pray and stand with you.
ReplyDeleteKeep praying. Know that Matt and I hold you and Cindy up in prayer.
ReplyDelete