If I've learned one thing through this Cancer Journey...
It's that I did not understand anything about suffering
(and I readily acknowledge that what I'm "suffering" is still peanuts compared to what multitudes of others are experiencing)
I never really "got" what it was like for people with
Chronic Pain
Mental Disease
PTSD
Addictions
Chronic Sickness
Physical Disease
I sought to have compassion, but was greatly lacking in empathy
I did not understand, I was told by some individuals
Which of course I protested and disagreed with
But...I really did not!
I didn't understand why individuals couldn't just...
Get their acts together
Be thankful in everything
Trust the Lord
Set their minds on things above
And things would be alright!
I get it a lot more now...
It's one thing to get through an acute problem or pain
But something chronic, ongoing, with no end in sight
That's another matter!
And what makes it harder for me
Is to think I should have already mastered this, figured it out, got my act together
And be full of peace and joy and contentment
In the midst of this Journey
Good grief...I'm a pastor!
But...not so:(
I have good moments
While listening to an encouraging song or a good audio book
Or experiencing the incredible love and encouragement of family and friends:)
I am massively blessed!
And yet the daily battle to experience joy and hope is hard
Really hard:(
It's interesting
How most of my life has been lived fighting for others to experience joy and hope
But how impotent and incompetent I feel in fighting for them myself!
So, again I am very thankful for you all who care and come alongside in a variety of ways to lift me up and support and encourage me in this Battle
Thank you!
Dave, that is such a neat perspective. Too often I believe that I know so much about things that I realize I do not. Then later, it dawns on me. What if I would have realized this sooner, how much more different would things have been. Thankful for Jesus because we don't have to do that, we just need to look forward. See Jesus and live in his truth. You are one of my heroes! Keep Fighting! I'm going to Keep Praying!
ReplyDeleteThank you Dave for these words. They are so true and especially now for you. This just shows that you are real. There is a plan and it may now show it self but I am a believer!Praying for you and for added strength!
ReplyDeleteExperiencing illness and pain definitely is a wake-up call, but you are human. Be kind to yourself, look for the positive in life, and keep fighting. You are a DYNAMITE person as you have done so much for kids and others. Thank you for ALL that you have done. You are very special!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dave. You’re a great model for us.
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate your honesty and humility. Those qualities are what draw people to you. I read recently that it’s okay to not be okay so here’s your permission to not be okay. This is a tough battle and “count it all joy” doesn’t mean that you should be “praising the Lord” every minute of every day. I’m continuing to pray that you will feel Jesus’ presence beside you.
ReplyDeleteAs always, thank -you Dave for sharing your deepest vulnerable self. Your intimate thoughts and fears will always be held by us dearly.
ReplyDeleteWe love you so much and are fighting for you in prayer! While you may feel incompetent or like you "should" (I think this word would be better tossed out of our vocabulary!) be stronger, have it together, or just be able to be hopeful, none of these are true. You are enough. Right as you are, right now. You are doing the best you can to fight the mental battle of discouragement. No one expects you to have some secret super power we don't have :) This is VERY hard stuff. Yet God remains bigger, ever in love with you, and proud of your faith.
ReplyDeleteDave, you continue to be a light for all of us to see. Your humility has always shown through no matter what else is in the way and it continues to do so now. Thank you for sharing your journey with us despite how difficult it must be.
ReplyDeleteDave, I can so identify with a lot of what you said. I am not exactly known in my family as 'Mr. Compassion.' I pray that the insights you have shared will help me in this area, though I don't want to pray for God to give me a 'thorn' like what you are enduring. We continue to lift you up before our God every day and will pray specifically for encouragement in the fight. Charlie
ReplyDeleteMay you only feel immersed in the love and light surrounding you during such unimaginable times. You don't know me, but your kids have impacted my life. They are great humans.
ReplyDeleteYour vulnerability in this post means a lot to me personally. I am learning through my mom's recovery journey that receiving grace and loving kindness from every person in her care team is a privileged gift as she fights every day of her life to survive. I am sorry this is so hard and wish you more and more moments of solace.
Dave I can guess you have seen the movie God's Not Dead what you posted it makes me think of the part towards the end when the professor was on his way to the God's Not Dead Newsboys concert and when he was crossing the road got hit by a car and he didn't believe in God but it took something drastic that made him change and repent as he was laying there while his lungs filled up with blood. But it took something drastic that you realized that. Danny
ReplyDeleteJust remember the saying God is Good all the time and all the time God is Good.
ReplyDeleteDave, so true. There is nothing like first-hand experience. This morning's sermon focused on being given unique abilities to comfort other people...who are going through afflictions we have experienced or are experiencing.
ReplyDeleteI've found that to be so true as I head toward 5 years, living with my particular cancer.
I don't know that I have anything specific to say to encourage you...but I suspect you are in position to let His light shine as you bring glory to the King of Kings...as he leads you down a path you never expected. Your transparency will be key as you model what one journey can look like and give others hope that God will help His kids walk through the dark valley. I'm not quite there yet...but it seems closer.
I haven't kept up with your blog...but I sense that's what you're doing now. May God richly bless you!