I Don't Know If I Can Keep Doing This...

Yep.

Those are the exact words that I said to Cindy more than once

Over the past 48 hours

As my body has been wrenched with pain

Coming out of my last chemo/immunotherapy treatment last Friday.

This cancer journey can be nasty!

As the chemo has continued

So has its toxicity and negative impact on my body

Resulting this time in such excruciating bodily pain

That I could only compare it to the pain my body was going through

In January when I was admitted to the hospital

In such bad condition that

It was thought, unbeknownst to me, I might only have days to live!

In the good, bad and ugly part of the cancer journey

This was definitely the ugly.

I don't do pain well

Especially when it goes on and on and on

And dominates my thinking and functioning.

I lost my peace.

I was troubled.

All I could think about was the pain that gripped my body

And was wreaking havoc in my soul

Obviously magnified by the already weak state of my body

From almost two years of cancer treatments.

This isn't the encouraging kind of blog that you'd hope for...

Dave thriving in the midst of his pain

It is just reality.

And, its good, in case you ever wondered...

Dave, isn't some kind of strong, super hero

Sailing through this cancer journey

For you all to admire and marvel at how he does it!

Oh, no!

But someone struggling and learning to trust and persevere and hope and thrive

One day at a time

Just like you would.

And, my journey is "peanuts" compared to what some of you are now going through:

A young daughter fighting cancer

Parents who had to rush their young son back to the hospital today with a serious infection

A daughter on a ventilator

Parents who lost their baby earlier this year

A son who still struggles after many weeks in the hospital and therapy

To overcome the affects of contracting COVID

And the list could go on and on...

Detailing the pain that is part of our daily lives.

The pain that seeks to overcome us

Debilitate us

And prevent and steal our peace.

Thankfully, for me,

My doctor prescribed a steroid today

That broke the intensity of the physical pain

And brought a measured calm to my body

After the 48 hours of torment.

Note: I definitely would NOT be writing this blog if I was still in the throes of the pain!

Then...

Cindy read some Psalms (which give great perspective)

Played the piano (which is amazing therapy for me!)

And prayed for my peace to be restored...

And IT WAS

Hallelujah!

My body is exhausted from the past 48 hours 

But my soul is again at PEACE

And I am so thankful.

In the same way

I pray for God's mercy and peace

For my friends mentioned above

Who are still in the thick of their pain...

And many others like them

Maybe you?

May God's mercy and peace 

Bring healing to your bodies and peace to your souls

Thank you again for listening,

Dave