The Countdown!

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom"

Counting down the days

Has become a part of my daily thinking

Kind of like many people

Count down the days until the weekend

Or they are scheduled to leave on vacation

Or the concert they have been looking forward to occurs...

For me, it is the repeated cycle of counting down

The days until my next chemo and immunotherapy treatment

Which is five days from today

Five days until I begin feeling yucky again!

And then four days, three, two, one...

The contemplation of what is to come

Dominates my thinking!

And causes me to organize my life accordingly

In order to get the work done that I need to

Before the post-chemo week side effects hit

And I might not feel like doing much except surviving:(

I think this is what Moses meant when he prayed in Psalm 90:

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom"

To be conscious of our days

That we might be wise in how we live out our days!

I think that it's the same thing Paul encourages us to do in Ephesians 5:

"Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise,

Making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil"

This cancer journey has caused me to have such an awareness of my days...

Of my mortality.

Of what is to come

And the privilege that is mine to experience such things

Things that I mostly took for granted being alive for:

Cindy's birthday

My children's and grandchildren's birthdays

Cindy and my anniversary

My birthday!

Which is the next countdown that is dominating my thinking

Not just because it's my birthday...as important as that is!!

BUT because August 18, 2020

Is exactly 18 months to the day

From when cancer was first discovered in my body

On February 19, 2020

18 months that has rocked my world

And changed my thinking

And caused me to count my days

As I never had before.

Grateful for the 18 months God has given me to live

When it seemed like my days on this earth were ended

Not taking for granted 18 more months

But counting the days and seeking to make the most of the ones I am given

However many those may or may not be.

Sometimes I miss the days of bliss when I felt like I would live forever:)

Though we all know that we all will die someday!

But...this life is way more real

Living with the awareness that my days are numbered

And despite the miraculous healing taking place in my body,

I will die someday just like the rest of you!

 This keen reality of my mortality

Helps me to live for eternity,

Which is a lot of days!

While making the most of my mortality

Which is a limited number of days!

I think the thing that would thrill me the most

Would be that every person reading this blog

Would, in the same way that I am,

Except for the cancer...

Be encouraged to live for eternity

And therefore making the most of their mortality!

Blessings,

Dave