HARD WORDS. REAL WORDS.

I'm currently reading through the book of Job in the Bible

As I work my way through the Old Testament

And...

Wow!

Can I ever identify with the man, Job

And his emotions and feelings and thoughts

As he wrestled with the way his life had been

Chewed up, spit out and turned upside down.

What brutal honesty

What uncomfortable language at times

He used to describe his pain and suffering!

And in doing so

The verdict from God is...

He NEVER sinned with his words!

Meaning...

It's okay to be honest about our pain!

Which is soooo important

Is it not?

To know that God isn't upset or offended by our honesty

And that our responsibility isn't to try and make him look good

By putting on a nice "Christian" facade

But to simply cling to him and love him...

Which is liberating for me

As I've wrestled with similar thoughts as Job.

(Note: Even though God is miraculously healing my body, the mental battle is still a very present reality as I struggle with the side effects of treatment and their impact on my body and life)

To give you a glimpse from Job:

I cannot eat for sighing

My groans pour out like water

I have no peace, no quietness

If my misery could be weighed and my troubles be put on the scales

They would outweigh all the sands of the sea

That is why I spoke impulsively

For the Almighty has struck me down with his arrows

Their poison infects my spirit

God's terrors are lined up against me.

I would rather be strangled-rather die than suffer like this

I despise my life

I waste away like rotting wood, like a moth-eaten coat

Oh God, you have ground me down

My spirit is crushed

God has made me sick at heart; the Almighty has terrified me

Darkness is all around me, thick, impenetrable darkness is everywhere

I long for the years gone by

And now my life seeps away, depression haunts my days

At night my bones are filled with pain, which gnaws at me relentlessly

So there you have it...

Brutal, honest words and emotions

That might be hard for some of you to believe

I could actually feel and think

And yet...I have and still do

In the midst of this difficult cancer journey!

And yet, at the same time, like Job

I also strongly believe the following:

True wisdom and power are found in God;

Counsel and understanding are his.

God might kill me, but I have no other hope.

But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives,

And he will stand upon the earth at last.

And after my body has decayed,

Yet in my body I will see God!

I will see him for myself.

Yes, I will see him with my own eyes.

I am overwhelmed at the thought!

I go east, but he is not there

I go west, but I cannot find him.

I do not see him in the north, for he is hidden

I look to the south, but he is concealed.

But...he knows where I am going

And when he has tested me, I will come out as pure gold!

So...the brutality and beauty

Of the book of Job

That I hope gives you a glimpse

Both of the struggle

That batters away at my soul almost every day

And of the solid foundation

That keeps my battered soul

In the midst of this cancer storm.

Thanks again for listening...

You all are the amazing friends that Job wished he would have had:)

Dave