Thursday, May 14, 2020

Anxious

Tomorrow, Friday, May 15th, will be my 6th chemo and immunotherapy treatment...

And I am anxious about it:(

From a purely rational standpoint

It doesn't make sense to be anxious

My treatments are going well

The cancer is receding

And my doctor is very positive about my prognosis:)

But, nevertheless, I am anxious

Because...

I know that I have a week or so ahead

When I'm not going to feel great

When I'm going to experience the side effects of the drugs going in my body

And...

That with each treatment

The side effects will probably impact me with increasing severity

And...

That the 6th treatment

I.e. This one

Is the turning point

In which one of the chemo drugs

Becomes potentially more detrimental to my body than beneficial.

That makes me anxious!

I know, I know

After everything that I've been through

After all the miracles that I've experienced from a merciful God

And the incredible doctor that I have...

I should be filled with FAITH!

And yet, I am anxious:(

I can definitely relate to Jesus' disciples

When he said to them

When once again they feared or failed to trust instead of having faith in him.

"You men of little faith!"

That's me!

That's probably hard or confusing for some of you

Who have followed my journey

And have assumed that I am a strong person

With incredible faith

Because I'm sharing my journey.

When in reality

I'm sharing because

I need you

Your support

And prayer

And encouragement

And your strong arms holding me up

As I continue on this journey

One day at a time

Learning to trust

As I face each new challenge

That this journey throws at me!

So...

That's it:)

Thanks for hanging in there with me

And for your faithful prayer and support and encouragement and positive thoughts!

I appreciate you all so much:)

Dave

14 comments:

  1. I can totally understand why you feel anxious. We can feel scared and still trust Jesus. Lifting you up in prayer. We love you!

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  2. Hang in my friend, you have come a long way from the despair of a short time ago to the worry about this Friday. Your in the good hands and hearts of many.

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  3. Dave.. your honesty in your blog has been so encouraging to so many. Most of us aren’t going through what you are, but during our struggles, it shows that we need to stand firm in our faith. Will continue to pray for you. ��

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  4. Thank you, Dave, for your transparency and vulnerability. Life has taught me I am not immune. I am human. I am not immune from fear, anxiety, depression, grief, sadness, or anything else that life brings. We need each other, we need encouragement, we need prayer. I will continue to follow your story and to pray for you and your family!

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  5. Sending prayers and love your way Dave. You can do all things in Christ who gives you strength.

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  6. Faith, family and friends is what gets us through these journeys. I know the anxiety, as I have felt my own over the last year and a half. God bless you Dave. You have inspired many.

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  7. We are praying for you Dave! God’s got you on this and He won’t let you go! We love you and ask for the Lord to bring you peace and healing, little side effects and a much better round than you expect, in the name of Jesus! Amen!
    We love you!
    Ru and Steve

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  8. Lifting you up in prayer brother! Thank you for sharing your heart. It takes courage. My cancer journey may have been different, but I remember those anxious feelings all too well and the frustration I would feel with myself for having them. What a scary and incredible journey you have been on. Your story gives hope to do many. God bless you!

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  9. Thanks Dave, for once again letting us in on your thinking. That has to be one of the reasons Jesus keeps us on the planet instead of whisking us to heaven the minute we become one of His. It's this passing the baton of what we've learned to others. And learning is best done in these dire circumstances. Argh.
    Praying for peace as you sit today and let the drip happen.

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  10. You are not alone Dave. Thank you for your courage and for being honest. I know the treatments are really hard and so I’m praying that Jesus will be closer to you than the air you breathe. May you feel his arms around you.

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  11. You are not alone Dave. Thank you for your courage and for being honest. I know the treatments are really hard and so I’m praying that Jesus will be closer to you than the air you breathe. May you feel his arms around you.

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  12. Dave I am praying for you right now - that your anxiety recedes and you are filled with peace. That you feel God's presence walking you through this ordeal. God is with you.

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