Still Fighting

When is it okay to quit fighting?

As I read the many and varied responses from several of you from the question I posed in my last blog, I, in my tiredness, continued to ponder the question myself

My thoughts led me to consider how I would answer the question if I were actually involved in fighting a battle in a war

In the midst of a fierce battle, would I quit if I were tired?

I hope not

I would keep fighting as long as there was a chance for victory in the battle

And so I keep fighting as long as there is still the hope of victory in this cancer battle

And a daily fight it continues to be

On September 25th I had my left lung drained of 1.5 liters of fluid

However, increasingly I could tell that my lung was filling up again

As it became more and more difficult to breathe

So on October 28th I had a chest x-ray which in fact revealed that the fluid had come back and was now filling 2/3 of my left lung cavity!

This led to my left lung being drained again on October 30th

To the tune of 2 liters this time

That is the amount of soda you'd get in a 2-liter bottle!

With my doctor commenting that this still left a good deal of fluid in the lung!

Now 5 days later I can tell that my lung is already quickly filling up again as my breathing becomes little by little more difficult

So...tomorrow, November 5th, I meet with a thoracic surgeon to discuss a couple of options how the fluid returning might be prevented or slowed down

Which I definitely face with mixed emotions

As I certainly would love to not have the fluid filling my lung with the shortness of breath that accompanies such filling

But at the same time don't look forward to a surgical procedure invading my lung:(

So the daily battle continues

Some days feeling okay

Other days feeling lousy

Continuing to fight with the hope of victory though recognizing that this might not end in victory over the cancer

Which is providing me the opportunity to learn to trust and hope in God like I've never had to before

 An opportunity that I never would have chosen

And find incredibly difficult

But I realize deep inside could bring me the deepest joy and peace imaginable

Unable to be rocked by anything or anyone!

And that's good:)

One encouraging piece of information...

I had blood work done in September that showed that I was anemic

And the concern was that the cancer may be affecting my body's ability to produce red blood cells

So I was put on an iron supplement to see if it would help

And it did!

Yay!

Thank you again for caring and praying and sending notes of encouragement

You all are a source of strength in the fight

Dave