I am on my fourth treatment cycle
This is how it works...
For 20 days I take an immense amount of supplements (approximately 190/day) to both attack my malignant pleural mesothelioma and to build up my body in ways that it is deficient so that it can also better defend against the enemy within
This is supported by daily detoxing and a strict diet (aka no ice cream or donuts, plus a bunch of other food items that used to be on my menu selection!)
A cycle ends with 5 days of no supplements to give my body a break, while at the same time doing additional detoxing to rid my body of the toxins that are being produced by the attack on the cancer cells
So, a full cycle is 25 days
And I began my fourth cycle four days ago
And my body doesn't like it...at all
I feel like I have a bad case of the flu (fever and body aches) all the time
It is the way the cycles work
As the pancreatic enzymes do their work on the cancer
My body feels like there is a war going on inside of me
Which I guess there is:(
And it usually lasts for several days at the beginning of each cycle
And with it the easy mental descent into darkness...
This isn't fair for Cindy...she needs a husband, not a patient
Will this ever end?
Will I ever have "value" again?
You get the idea
I really hate feeling crappy day after day after day!
But that seems to be my season right now
For however long that is
I'm not a very faithful blogger - don't feel up-to-it much of the time
But for those of you who still read these and pray and send notes of encouragement and are supporting me in the midst of this time
Thank you!
You can't imagine the light and hope and strength it gives to me as I walk this cancer journey
Thank you!
Continuing to pray for you. I can't imagine how hard that must be. I love you both so much!
ReplyDeleteWe continue to pray for you and Cindy. We have heard this battle is horrendously hard but it also has brought many people “ out the other side” to have wonderful productive time with family and friends. We love you both and are praying God will bless you and give you really good days at the other end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteDave please know I am praying for you and Cindy. It is a journey and I really do understand. I truly believe that God has each of us on a chosen path. It is how we walk down that path that matters. You and Cindy are a true light.
ReplyDeleteContinuing praying and believing for a supernatural healing for you my friend!! And for peace when those times of darkness come!! Blessings!!
ReplyDeleteDuring the darkest period of my life, God grabbed ahold of me with Isaiah 40:30-31 and didn't let go. I pray that, through your exhaustion and your pain, God raises you up on the wings of eagles. You and your family are in my prayers, Dave!
ReplyDeleteStill praying for you my brother! And by the way, you did a great job at your son's wedding.
ReplyDeleteOur family is praying for you and yours. We love you and want this season to be over with all the cancer and side effects that you are dealing with. May Jesus fill your hearts and minds with HIS love and peace so that each step you take is with HIM.
ReplyDeleteLittle Eric says "God, please pray for Pastor Dave and that he feels better," every time before dinner and before bed. He's very faithful about praying for you! He's your little prayer warrior ❤
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave, Dave. You are not a burden. You are a delight to know and be around, and so keep fighting! You are so loved and supported! May the light of Jesus burn away any deceptive lies from the enemy, the cloud of overwhelming despair, and instead fill you with hope and your body with energy and health.
ReplyDeleteBrother David, you are in a powerful position, between wonderful witness here, and eternity with Him! You actually have both conditions right now, except for the resurrection body we will both have eventually. Your blog provides good prayer points! May The God of all blessings & mercies be full upon you right now and forever. God loves you, and so do I. ��❤️��. In His mighty grip, Stuart U.
ReplyDeleteIt's startling how believable a blatant lie can be, when we are in a weakened state and are the target of the lie. Every reader here can see the ridiculousness of the lies you are hearing, and you can too, with a little perspective. But in the midst of the hurt and despair, it all seems so compelling.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most poignant scriptures to me is "It's not good for man to be alone." This truth has so many facets to explore, but I believe that one of the most meaningful is that when we are with others, the light they bring into our darkness help illuminate truth when the lies are most convincing.
You are a very proficient blogger-you write when you have something to say. And you reveal something significant to us, both practical and spiritual. You have been light in the midst of darkness for countless people. You are still providing light and wisdom in the midst of your own pain and dark moments. You are loved and cherished by many, who are faithfully checking this blog daily as we lift you up in prayer, whether you post anything that day or not.
May God bless you and surround you with his abundant love as your body continues to battle. Be a good patient, and receive the love of those around you.
We pray for you daily. This is the first time we've seen your blog. Our hearts and prayers are daily with you and your family. We love you.
ReplyDeleteKeep Fighting! Little consistent moves each day will make the difference. Taking the meds even when it's harder, it will make you stronger every day. I am proud of you for fighting, being honest and continuing to be an active part of our community. I love you brother. I wont stop praying.
ReplyDeleteJen and I are praying for you daily, Dave. We are praying that no matter how dark it seems, His light will penetrate and lead you out. We love you.
ReplyDeleteYour blogs help us to walk with you and know how to pray - thank you for that. I pray for your healing, I pray for the battle of your mind.I understand your desire to stop fighting - sounds pretty normal to me. I also see your courage to keep fighting and that’s the power of God working in you.
ReplyDelete