Day after day...
200 supplements
4 detoxes
Juicing
Making special cereals and nut milks and all organic, vegetarian meals (These are almost all done by Mrs. Amazing!)
Only having three 2-hour time frames to eat...and not eating if I miss those time frames
Not really wanting to eat as I'm bloated from all the water I have to drink to down 200 supplements!
Most days feeling like I have the flu, achy and lousy, due to the toxins being drawn out of my body
What is the point?
How long can I do this?
So the spiral downwards can easily happen...
Such is The Battle
It is a battle for my mind, my thoughts
It is learning to be content and find peace and have joy...really be happy in the midst of this cancer journey
NOT because I accomplished something important today or was a part of achieving something significant...a young life impacted, a new Coffee Oasis location opened or another individual who became excited about our mission to change the world for homeless youth
BUT because I am really learning to "be still and know that HE is GOD"
By learning to rest in His love, to trust in His purposes and to meditate upon His person and promises
To know Him in a way that I've known about Him and talked about Him
But was so busy accomplishing things FOR Him that I didn't make the same amount of time to experience Him...to know Him like a good friend.
Such is The Battle for my mind and thoughts
Because I'm not accomplishing any important or significant things nowadays to bring joy
It has to come deeper
Isaiah 26:3 says "God will keep in perfect peace the one whose MIND is stayed on Him"
I've known that verse for decades...
Now it's time to really practice it...hard work!
I don't know if this makes any sense
It's the stuff going around and around in my mind every day in my cancer journey
And it's not be any means a "successful" fight every day:(
That's how you can pray for me...thanks much
It makes perfect sense Dave. :)
ReplyDeleteIt truly is where life in Jesus gets real and gets deeper.
ReplyDeleteJust found this today. I wrote a big long reply to your earlier post about The Program, but my phone didn't think my writing was worthy of your blog.
ReplyDeleteKelli watched a Netflix documentary in April, and declared that we were going vegan on May 1. Not quite a cancer diagnosis, but it was devastating news to this guy. My first thought was "what do I do with my smoker?" Second thought was "how do I live without eating ice cream every night at 9 pm?"
If it's any help, there are some REALLY GOOD ice cream alternatives made with coconut or almond milk (I can't endorse the soy milk versions--they taste like sawdust). If your diet would allow that, I'm happy to make more specific recommendations!
I have to say that while I regretted it, I'm a believer in the power of eating well.
I can also relate to this post. I had a rather abrupt exit from my latest project, and I find myself in a place of not having the THINGS to do that I too easily derive my self-worth from. DOING FOR God is much easier for me than simply BEING WITH God.
Thank you for being open with The Battle. Praying for and with you, my friend. Always available to help however you need.
Greg
(Greg Walker, that is)
DeleteI'd LOVE some coconut or almond milk ice cream alternative recipes! That would be a treat. Also, no sugar for me, though can have a bit of coconut sugar. Email me
DeleteThanks brother for your words. My wife I are finishing up our almost year of cancer journey. Cancer takes so much. I pray for you, Dave.
ReplyDeleteThank you Chris. You are a veteran in this journey that we are just beginning. I pray also for God's grace for you all. Dave
DeleteIt's hard to read this, but if anything I am so encouraged by your persistence and trust in Jesus. I love you brother and will continue to pray.
ReplyDeleteMy greatest growth and understanding has come out of my greatest grief and pain...as I can see it is now for you.
ReplyDeleteA time to ask, "Do I really believe what I believe"?
Your posts are life affirming. Thank you for sharing wisdom and hope in spite of how your journey looks from the outside!
As one comment above says - makes perfect sense. How else can we explain "Rom 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. ?? Praying the way you asked. We love you and Amazing Cindy.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, Your success is in the fight Jesus already won.
ReplyDeleteIn hope for each day, Colleen S.
Charlie and I are praying for you Dave. Just curious if you have had a chance to read any of the book I gave Cindy for you to read? I think it would bless you.
ReplyDeleteAlmighty God,
ReplyDeleteWho gives mighty oceans commands and yet created the fragile wings of a butterfly.
Nothing is beyond your grasp.
You order the universe and give birds flight,
And yet you asked us to call you Abba Father.
You know each one of us and understand every detail of our lives.
So come, come with the power and authority of the waves
And wash my friend with healing.
Come, with the beauty and gentleness of a butterfly
Bring calm to this mind and peace to this body.
I come, with your gift of faith
And ask for you to take my prayers and fill them with your redemptive touch,
Restoration power
And great love.
Amen.
Stay strong bro! The light shines brightest in the darkness. Your faith in Jesus through this time is a testimony to all that He indeed lives! Im thankful for your faithfulness, your integrity. Rest in His closeness bro. Love you Dave
ReplyDeleteDan and Ashley Mathes
ReplyDelete