Hallelujah!!!

What else is there to say but...

HALLELUJAH!!!

I know that I just did a blog yesterday

But today's news definitely deserves a followup

HALLELUJAH!!!

First, and by no means insignificant

Today's chemo and immunotherapy treatment

Happened without any unplanned excitement

Meaning no anaphylactic reactions

Yay!!

Second, our time with the doctor discussing my CT scan was...

AMAZING!

Can you tell that I am excited by the news with all of the capital letters:)

Well...it was incredibly encouraging

Which was so wonderful

Because I went into it

Concerned that the improvement might not meet my hope and expectations

So...to summarize:

What a difference between the CT scan last Friday

With the one I had when I was in the hospital in January!

The tumor has decreased in size by 50-75%

Yes, you read that correctly...50-75%!

To put this in even more perspective

The doctor referred back to when he saw me in the hospital in January

Reiterating that he thinks I could have been dead within a week

As bad as I was

If we hadn't have started the treatment so quickly

I was in that bad of shape

And, here we are just three months later

With the doc saying that he thinks we can beat this!

Not that it hasn't been an exciting adventure

With two anaphylactic reactions

My heart flat-lining and needing CPR

And several ER visits to have my lung drained from fluid!

But, here we are on April 24th

Just three months later

With incredible gratitude

To God for His mercy and to my doctor for his aggressive and innovative treatment.

One of my doctor's comments again today

Was that we are in uncharted territory

There are no case studies of my rare cancer being successfully treated

He even mentioned that he might need to write up a case study on me:)

So...I'm going to sign off for now

I'm whooped and need a nap

If my head can stop spinning from excitement

Long enough to fall asleep:)

But again...thank you, thank you for your support, prayer and encouragement.

You don't know what a blessing it is to have such a community of friends

Blessings,

Dave

Chemo #5 + CT scan review

Tomorrow, Friday, April 24th, is chemo and immunotherapy treatment #5

And...I was informed that a blog was overdue:)

Every three weeks seems to come awfully fast!

I am incredibly grateful for the progress

That is evident from how I am feeling...

Gaining weight

Lifting weights (Note: They are VERY light weights!)

Walking around our little lake at least every other day

Great appetite

And...helping out at The Coffee Oasis very part-time with the finances!

Which makes it a bit hard

Facing another round of treatments

Knowing that I will again feel pretty lousy for a week or so

Due to the side affects.

I guess I'm weird that way

I like feeling good

I don't like feeling lousy

But the results of feeling lousy from the treatments

More than make it worth the improvement that is happening!

I am grateful.

Also, tomorrow, we meet with my doctor

To find out the results of my CT scan last week.

He left a very brief voicemail last Friday

Saying that there was improvement...

Which is great

BUT...

What improvement?

How much improvement?

What does it mean in terms of ongoing treatment?

And so my mind has been busy

Wondering...

Will I be satisfied with the improvement?

Will it be discouraging that it isn't enough improvement?

So...you get the idea:)

My mind certainly keeps me hopping!

The challenge is to keep trusting

And, to be daily grateful for the obvious improvement

That is happening regardless of what the CT scan shows.

So...

Thank you again for all the support and encouragement and prayer

You all are a blessing!

I will let you know the results of the CT scan...soon:)

Blessings,

Dave

HOPE

For those of you interested...

I've copied an Opinion piece that I wrote

That is being published in the Kitsap Sun newspaper today.

After the Opinion piece

I give a brief report

On how my chemo and immunotherapy treatment

Went this past Friday.

Hope in a Pandemic

Hope is in short supply these days.  Depression and despair were already pervasive leading many to an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. And now a pandemic is added to the picture!

How can there be hope in a pandemic?  Our present circumstances are rocked by uncertainty…the loss (or potential loss) of employment and the ability to meet our financial obligations, the fear of contracting the virus, and a growing sense of isolation. 

This hopelessness is compounded by a future uncertainty as we consider the possible weeks or months in which this pandemic will continue to impact our lives and world...leading to lives radically changed by the brutal onslaught.  How is it possible for anyone to have hope at such a time as this?

These questions are very real to me as I face this pandemic while also battling an incurable cancer diagnosis…resulting in medical retirement with its lost income, the often debilitating effects of treatment and dark days contemplating my mortality.  Now, I face a pandemic with my high level of vulnerability as an individual over 60 with lung cancer!  How is it possible to hope in the midst of such circumstances?

I would encourage us to consider the ancient musings of King David in the midst of a dark time and what brought him hope. And ask ourselves if such hope in seemingly hopeless circumstances cannot be ours also.

A Needed Reminder. “O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!  Behold, you have made my days a few hand-breadths…surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! (Psalm 39:4-5)

It is easy to live with false hope, isn’t it…placing our hope in an individual or our health or job or house or promotion. The result is often what leads to our sense of despair and hopelessness, because these things, though good in themselves and worthy to be pursued, are not what really provide true hope.

Why?  Because they are fleeting.  My life was flipped upside down on February 19, 2019, the day I found out that I had cancer.  My health, my livelihood, my plans for the future and much of my sense of purpose were lost on that fateful day.  And with them, it was easy to lose hope. In the same way, it can be easy for us to lose hope in the midst of this pandemic. 

The good news, however, is that day also offered another alternative…a needed reminder.  These things are fleeting.  They cannot provide true hope. They can provide momentary satisfaction and joy and purpose and appreciation, but they cannot provide lasting hope. Understanding this is huge and crucial.  Most of us can go our entire lives striving after such things that only provide false hope and thus continually lead us into hopelessness.

Is this not true?  Consider why you or someone you know struggles with hopelessness.  Consider why this pandemic has created hopelessness.  In what has hope been placed? Should it be the recipient of our hope?  So when our worlds are rocked whether by cancer or the loss of a job or a friend…or a pandemic; David’s reminder is sorely needed and can turn what we are experiencing into a deeper foundation providing true hope.  Is it possible that this pandemic could be the means of deepening our hope rather than stripping us of it?

A Deeper Foundation. “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:7)

“My hope is in you”.  Realizing that his hope had become misplaced upon that which was fleeting, David reset his focus on that which was lasting, God.  A horrible cancer diagnosis did this for me.  It caused me to reconsider that in which I was hoping.  The pandemic is doing the same for me as again I’m faced with my mortality and if what I’m hoping in is a solid or fleeting foundation.

The pandemic gives all of us the opportunity to consider that in which we hope.  I’m not trying to force God on anyone.  Some of you have been hurt deeply by the church or struggle deeply with God in light of past experience.  What I am wanting is that none of us waste this pandemic and the opportunity it brings to deepen our foundations, to shift our hope to that which is truly lasting, and thus become people of hope rather than despair.  In what are you hoping?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Email me at david.frederick@thecoffeeoasis.com.

Update on Friday's Treatment and Doctor Visit

My Treatment went well...yay!

No surprises

Or heart stoppage!

Though nausea, hiccups and constipation

Have kicked in immediately this time:(

Thank you for thinking of me and praying.

My oncology doc continues to be very encouraged about my progress

And for the first time unexpectedly said that maybe we could beat this thing!

(Note: This journey has come a long ways from my doc at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance wanting
to switch me to Palliative  Care!!)

My cancer is rare and there are no case studies

Of it being successfully eradicated

BUT...nothing is impossible for God!!

YES!

Thanks again for hanging in there with me

With wonderful encouragement, support and prayer:)

Appreciate you all more than you can imagine!

Blessings,

Dave

Chemo #4 + COVID-19 Concern

This Friday, April 3rd, is my 4th round of chemo and immunotherapy

As well as meeting with my oncology doctor.

It has been quite the bounce around

Originally meeting with my doctor

And having my chemo today, Wednesday.

Then they shifted my chemo to Friday

Leaving my doctor's appointment today

Which was making us uncomfortable

Going in twice in one week

With all the concern about COVID-19.

Thankfully, the doctor's office called 45 minutes

Before we were to leave this morning

And offered to reschedule the doctor's appointment to Friday also

For which we are very thankful.

It is with double mixed feelings

That we head in on Friday for my treatment

One, because I am enjoying feeling better at this point

And going in for the chemo treatment

Am very aware of the side effects

That will change that pretty quick:(

And, Two, because of potential exposure to COVID-19

While hanging out for five hours

In a treatment room full of people!

An article in the New York Times today

Captures this concern:

"Patient has Virus and Serious Cancer.

Should Doctors Withhold the Ventilator?"

That would be me!

Obviously providing another opportunity

To have fear or to have faith...

And I'll admit that

I bounce back and forth between the two:(

Knowing that to depart and be with Jesus

I.e. die

Is by far the greatest thing that could happen to me

Or any of us:)

But to remain with Cindy

And be of further use to Jesus here

Is certainly a huge and gripping desire.

I pray for all of us

God's grace and peace

To live by faith and without fear

As we hope in Him!

Yes!

Thank you for reading and supporting

My cancer journey...

Blessings,

Dave

PEACE

Without question

The most significant, daily challenge for me 

As I walk this cancer journey

Is the internal mental struggle

That goes with this journey.

It is so unpredictable

And difficult

And unknown

How I will feel today

Or tomorrow

Or the next day.

Every day

And every treatment cycle

And how my body will respond

Is unknown

Except to know

That it will be another physically challenging

And difficult day

In which I will mentally struggle

To be internally at peace.

As I was reflecting on this today

Looking back over the past several difficult days

And my internal, mental struggle

In light of my external, physical condition

It dawned on me how similar and prevalent this

Lack of peace

Might be in light of the COVID-19 pandemic

Which is captured poignantly

In this excerpt from an article I saw in the NY Times today:

"All I've really known is that the answer to work and to emotional strife

Has been to work harder and work more.

Now he realizes that may not be enough.  

Soon, there is no 'harder' and no 'more'

And that leaves me with uncertainty I will have to face.

I will have to slow down and process my emotions".

So this cancer journey of mine

And this global coronavirus pandemic

Pushes us all to ask

"How can we experience internal PEACE

In the midst of these external challenges?"

I'll be honest...

I'm not doing a very good job:(

My life experience thus far had been limited to

Experiencing acute, temporary pain and heartache and challenges

With an end in sight that I could hold on for

Rather than this

Expectation of ongoing pain and heartache

With no end in sight.

Can you sense my lack of peace?

It's not that I'm unaware of the promise of peace

A peace that passes all understanding

That is offered to me (all of us)

By the Prince of Peace.

"My peace I give to you," said Jesus,

"Not as the world gives, give I to you".

I think it's just that maybe

I've always sought to experience such peace

"As the world gives"

In other words...

Through external change such as...

Elimination of pain

Or change of circumstances

(Like the man in the NY Times article)

Rather than internal transformation

Providing peace and contentment and even joy!

In the face of continued external pain and suffering.

It has dawned on me

That rather than beating myself up

(which I can be very good at!)

For not experiencing the incredible peace offered by Jesus

It's another "positive" of this cancer journey

Putting me in the situation where

Peace "as the world gives"

(changing the external)

Just doesn't cut it anymore

I need to and must

Find the internal peace that passes all understanding

That is found in the Prince of Peace

In the thick of this ongoing and unknown cancer journey.

That's what I want.

That's what I need

To not just survive

But thrive

As I walk this cancer journey

Day after day after day...

Simply hoping, depending, trusting and delighting

In Jesus!

Experiencing Him as my peace!

Thanks again for your prayer and support!

I need them:)

And I pray that you also, in these uncertain times, may experience His Peace!

Blessings,

Dave

A Brief Praise and Thanks

Yesterday was chemo and immunotherapy #3

And most of you were well aware

Of my anxiety in light of the two previous serious allergic reactions I experienced.

Well...

Yesterday, went GREAT!

No excitement
(except for my doctors as he continued to see my improvement!)

No allergic reactions

Just a smooth five hour time of infusions!

So...

Thank you all so much for praying and caring and supporting:)

A journey it has been

And will continue to be...

But these bright spots are wonderful!!

I will be having a CT scan on March 27th

To see what progress has been made

In shrinking the tumor

Then my fourth chemo and immunotherapy treatment on April 1st.

In the meantime

Thank you for continuing to hold me up

As I go through the side effects of the chemo I had yesterday.

You all are such a blessing to me!

Dave

P.S.  I do want to also express my appreciation to those of you

Who respond to my "reflections"

With your own personal thoughts in disagreement with mine.

I thank you for your courage to do so in a gracious way

And always covet open and free dialogue about important issues

Which is often missing in our contentious world

Which finds it much easier to build walls than bridges:(

If any of you would like to interact more about these "reflections"

Please reach out to me through my email at: david.frederick@thecoffeeoasis.com

I'd love to engage in hearty interaction that way

Rather than through the blog or Facebook

Which often can lead to less than cordial interactions:)

Again, thank you to all of you for being such amazing friends and supporters!

Many, many blessings,

Dave

Psalm 126:3 "The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad!"

Amen!!

Chemo #3 and Sober Reflection

This Friday, March 13th, is my third chemo and immunotherapy treatment.

As it approaches, I have both

An eagerness to continue the treatments

With the hope that they are reducing or eliminating the cancer ravaging my body,

And some anxiety.

The anxiety comes from the two severe allergic reactions that I've previously experienced

And a real concern that it may happen again

Since the two previous reactions

Occurred after I'd previously had the drugs to which I reacted.

So...I'd really appreciate prayer for peace

And an uneventful infusion day:)

Now for a sober reflection...

We found out today

That one of our former foster daughters died.

The last time I heard from her

She reached out to me at the beginning of this cancer journey

To let me know she cared and was thinking about me.

It has caused me to reflect again

On the question...

"What happens at the moment of death?"

What is she experiencing?

What will I experience?

You?

These are not theoretical questions to me

As I ponder daily my mortality

And the possibility of this cancer ending my life

Whether soon or not.

We are so caught up with daily life

That we seldom take the time to ponder

The reality of what is to come at death.

And yet this brief momentary existence

That so consumes and dominates our attention

Is but a  blip, is it not,

In the bigger, forever scheme of things?

To think that at death

There is "nothing"

That death is the end of our existence

Does not make sense

In light of the thinking and feeling people that we are

With an innate awareness that there is more

Than just the current, temporal physical

That surrounds us.

There is more.

But what is it?

What happens at the moment of death?

Immediate Intimate Relationship with Jesus!

There is a verse in the Bible that says

"To leave the body is to be present with the Lord"

Bam! 

Immediately in God's presence!

Entrance into eternal, intimate relationship with Jesus

Joy and Life that I can't even begin to imagine right now

Mine beginning immediately at the moment of death.

But, is this what everyone should anticipate at death?

I think not.

As immediate, intimate relationship with Jesus

Will be the reality of us whose hope is in Jesus.

On the contrary

Separation from Jesus

Will be the experience of those who deny the reality of Jesus.

Depending on what or who we now hope in...

Will be our conscious reality at the moment of death.

Relation or Separation.

These reflections may

Seem pretty heavy to some of you

And even crazy to others of you?

But to me

Treading this daily, deadly cancer journey

And upon hearing of the death of our foster daughter;

They are incredibly important things to reflect upon!

Blessings,

Dave