if I go to the west, I do not find him.
9 When he is at work in the north, I do not see him;
when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.
10 But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold." (Job 23:8-10)
Nothing has been easy about this cancer journey...
My last blog on April 14 stated:
The next opportunity for dependence
Although I'm sure there will be others also!
Is on May 3rd...
Never were truer words spoken!
I am writing this blog
Having just awakened from a much needed nap
Following ANOTHER thoracentesis of my right lung today
Just 9 days after the one referred to in my last blog on April 13.
This thoracentesis followed two ER trips
Within those 9 days
Because of increasing pain and shortness of breath
Which revealed in addition to continued fluid accumulation
A pneumothorax in my right lung.
A pneumothorax is a collapsed lung. A pneumothorax occurs when air leaks into the space between your lung and chest wall. This air pushes on the outside of your lung and makes it collapse. My pneumothorax was a collapse of only a small portion of the right lung.
A pneumothorax can be caused by a blunt or penetrating chest injury, certain medical procedures, or damage from underlying lung disease. Or it may occur for no obvious reason. Symptoms usually include sudden chest pain and shortness of breath.
So there you have it...
A pneumothorax
Which the doctors do not have any idea how it happened!
My latest opportunity to depend and trust!
These opportunities to trust
Which are always filled with challenging pain and so many unknowns
Continue to breed the question "why?"
Why Lord is it necessary to go through this pain?
Why Lord can there be no break in the pain?
Why Lord, me?
And yet even though I do not know what He is doing
Or why He is doing it
I am learning to trust Him!
This cancer journey has rocked my world
Ripped in pieces my life
And yet it has not destroyed my foundation!
"He knows the way that I take
And when He has tested me
I will come forth as gold!"
This is definitely not because I have great faith
Or some great ability to trust
Oh no...
My faith has been rocked to the core many, many, many times!
Rather...
It is because I'm convinced of who God is
And that He is worthy of my trust
And that He is good and will cause all these things to work together for my good
Though I cannot, in my limited vision and understanding,
See or understand what is happening or why...
"I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day." (2 Timothy 1:12)
Still learning to trust,
Dave
P.S. I am so thankful to be alive to celebrate one week from today the birthday
Of the most amazing and loving woman that exists
And that I am privileged to call my wife!
Amen. We are continuing to pray for healing, easing of pain, and rest - both for your body and soul, knowing God has you right in the palm of his hand. We love you, Dave! - Joel & Leslie
ReplyDeleteAmen. I read all your posts, Dave. They are gold. You are gold .
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. Trust is such a difficult emotion, mind set, daily thoughts to trust our savior can so difficult. My love to both you and Cindy. You both are so precious to our Father in heaven and to each oh us you touch. Blessings
ReplyDeleteMost often, I'm not a fan of the King James version. But for Job 23:10, I do because "know" is a 2-syllable word. And that lands in my head with a greater punch. 'Course, that coming forth as gold is a great prospect too. Praying for great grace this hour!
ReplyDeleteDave, I am so grateful for every word you share. They are fruit that nourish, sustain and fortify for the trials ahead. Thank you. Praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteDave; indeed, God's character and His nature is All Good. "There is no shadow of turning with thee. Thy compassions they fail not"
ReplyDeleteIt is Satan who afflicts; but God who supervises the strength and endurance and duration of the trial. The pain you now feel is reaping for you an eternal weight of glory in heaven. God bless you, Dave Frederick, for sharing with us the whole truth of this journey.
My little brother had spontaneous pneumothorax a year and a half ago and had to go back in the hospital 3 times because his lung kept collapsing. It's so scary. Praying for you!
ReplyDelete