"In the Gospel the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith." (Romans 1:17)
That's it!
It struck me as I am recuperating today from yet another surgical procedure
I had yesterday...
A thoracentesis (i.e. draining fluid) of my right lung...
And feeling pretty punky (Is that a word?)
It's amazing how such a procedure traumatizes your whole body.
That such is exactly what this hard cancer journey provides...
One opportunity after another to depend desperately upon God
In my weakness and pain and suffering
In order to know and experience better him and his strength and power
In a way that I would not otherwise
Because when things are going okay
It is easiest to depend on my own strength and wisdom and power
Rather than on God's.
Well...hopefully remembering will help me
To do a better job of depending...
HELP!
Rather than mentally and emotionally and spiritually battling...
I GIVE UP!
Not that everything will now be hunky dory!
Pain is still pain
Suffering is still suffering
Weakness is still weakness
But the focus of my thoughts does make a big difference
Either hoping and trusting in God's goodness and purpose
Or just mentally struggling with my wretched situation.
And there certainly has been and continues to be
Plenty of opportunity to struggle throughout this cancer journey.
(I guess we are all faced with such opportunities almost every day!)
It was last Thursday that I went to the ER
Because of difficulty breathing and sharp pain in my right back
But after waiting 5 hours
And with no hope of being seen within this century
I left preferring to be in bed at home
Rather than sitting with no hope of being seen
In an uncomfortable ER waiting room chair.
My oncologist scheduled the thoracentesis for yesterday instead
They drained 1,500ml of fluid out of my right lung.
The shortness of breath, pressure on my chest and sharp pain in my right back
Immediately have improved
As I am working at breathing deeply and reinflating my lung.
(You can pray that I work on this hourly despite the pain!)
The next opportunity for dependence
Although I'm sure there will be others also!
Is on May 3 when I will be having my third ERCP surgical procedure
To remove the temporary stent placed in my bile duct
In order to reduce the inflammation that was causing blockage
And a lot of abdominal pain.
In the meantime we continue to ponder and pray
About what is next...
Right now we are leaning in the direction of proton radiation of the tumor
Which would take place in north Seattle
At the SCCA proton radiation center.
We do covet your prayer as this decision is still very much in process.
Thank you again for your incredible support and encouragement
As we travel this cancer journey together.
Blessings,
Dave
