PET Scan #2

It was on March 11, 2019 that I had my first PET Scan

To determine whether or not the "circular mass" in my left pleural cavity

Was malignant or not.

A Positron Emission Tomography (PET Scan) works in the following way:

The night before the scan I am directed to eat a high protein, low carbohydrate meal

And then go completely without eating for the eight hours leading up to the scan.

Then, an hour before the scan, I am injected, through an IV,

With a radioactive form of glucose which is used as a "tracer"

To reveal any cancerous areas in the body

By "lighting up" the cancerous areas with a bright glow.

It was on that fateful March day that the circular mass was clearly revealed as malignant

And my cancer treatment process began.

Now 18 months later it was time to ascertain if what remained of the tumor

Was still malignant or was now merely a benign mass.

I received a summary of the PET scan from the radiologist on Monday, September 14th,

Four days before I was to meet with my oncologist to discuss the results.

It was discouraging.

"Persistent left pericardial PET positive mass, consistent with the known mesothelioma. There are multiple small pretracheal lymph nodes at the level of the aortic arch that show prominent PET uptake and are highly suspicious for metastatic spread."

The tumor had metastasized!

It was a tough week waiting to discuss the results with my oncologist on Friday.

My first comment to him when he walked into the exam room was

"It looks like pretty bad news"

To which he immediately responded

"I wouldn't say that"

And then went on to explain his reason

Which, to put it simply, was that there was always the awareness of cancerous spread.

It was why at the UW and SCCA I was diagnosed as stage four,

Declared incurable, and switched to palliative care.

The important thing was to remember how bad I had become in January of this year,

On the brink of death

And how far I had now come

To where we are talking about next steps in the treatment process.

So, what are those next steps?

1. Having a CT scan with contrast

Which involves iodine injected via IV

In order to show whether or not the tumor has infiltrated my heart

Which the tumor "laps over"

Or is distinct from the heart.

NOTE: Mesothelioma cells tend to penetrate organs rather than remain distinct from them.

If the tumor has not penetrated my heart

The options are to do one of the following:

2. Surgery to remove the tumor, followed by radiation.

3. Radiation to burn out the tumor.

4. Continue with chemo and immunotherapy as we are now doing.

That's where things stand as of now...

That's the latest on my cancer journey!

It is certainly a day by day by day adventure:)

The good news is that with your prayer and encouragement

I am at peace...today!

In fact, when meeting with the doctor on Friday

When typically I have high blood pressure

Due to what they call "white coat syndrome"

Or, in other words, I am anxious for having to be at the doctors:)

My blood pressure was good

Despite our understanding of the PET scan results and our impending conversation.

That was a miracle!

The words in Isaiah 26:3 are very true which say

"God will keep in perfect peace the mind that is fixed on Him!"

That is the challenge for which I constantly covet your prayer.

I appreciate you all much,

Dave

Waiting...

Waiting is hard

Really hard

When you are waiting and wondering

What your PET scan test results are going to come back showing...

Improvement - Less cancer or no cancer!!  Good News!

No Improvement - Cancer activity the same as before.  Bad News!

Things are Worse - More cancer.  Worse News!

But...

Wait is what we must now do...

This morning, Thursday, September 10, was my PET scan

Which will show one of the above conclusions.

The last time I had a PET scan was March 2019

Which revealed that my "mass" was very cancerous.

The hope is that with my improving health

The tumor is becoming less cancerous, more benign.

We will find out

Next Friday, September 18th

When we meet with my oncologist.

That is EIGHT days away!

And so...

We WAIT!

I don't know about you

But, for me,

Waiting is REALLY hard!

The Problem?

My consuming focus becomes...

The test results

And the hope of good results.

My hope slips away from

Hoping in God.

And so instead of

Waiting on God

My hope in Him;

My consuming focus is...

Waiting for the test results

While becoming more and more anxious

As I wait

Anticipating the worst results:(

I know what you're thinking...

That's REALLY dumb!

You're right!

Just being honest:)

So...I'd love for you to pray the following verses for me as I wait

Please!

Psalm 27:14  Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

Psalm 31:24  Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!

Psalm 39:7  “And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.

Psalm 62:5  For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.

Psalm 130:5  I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;

Thanks,

Dave

P.S. I will let you know the results when I get them next Friday

Two Steps Back

I think that we've all heard the expression

"Three steps forward, two steps back"

Or some such version of the above.

Well...my latest test results seem to be fit into the

"Two steps back" category

Discouraging:(

Meeting with my oncologist this past Friday

Before my every three weeks chemo and immunotherapy treatment

We discussed the results of the CT scan

Which I'd had a couple of days before.

Our hopes were that the scan would reveal

That the tumor was continuing to decrease in size.

Unfortunately...that is not the news we received.

Here are the exact dimensions of the tumor

Which actually increased a tad bit in size:

8.6 cm x 3.1 cm x 6.3 cm is the size of the tumor according to the most recent scan.

8.4 cm x 3 cm x 6.2 cm was the size of the tumor from the scan two months ago.

It is described as a pleural-based mass draped over the left heart

And it is pretty decent sized

This was hard news.

And to make it a bit harder...

The scan also showed a slight increase in fluid in my left lung.

To wrap up the "two steps back" news...

I heard today that my tumor markers

Though still within the normal range

Also slightly increased.

So...where does this leave us?

I now have a PET scan scheduled for September 10th

This is to ascertain if the mass described above

Contains active cancer cells

Or if it is now merely a benign mass,

And if there are any other cancerous masses in my body.

I will find out the results of the PET scan

At my next oncology appointment on September 18th.

It is soooo easy for my hopes and emotions

To ride on the outcome of test results

Rather than in the hands of the loving and powerful God

That I claim to believe in

To be very transparent...

The last few days have been dark ones mentally, emotionally and spiritually

As I've wrestled with the latest results

Which obviously hasn't been helped

Feeling pretty yucky coming out of my recent chemo treatment.

This despite the fact

That my amazing wife, Cindy, keeps reminding me regularly

Of all the things for which we do have to be thankful

While at the same time flooding me

With the most incredible and unconditional love and support!

This cancer journey stinks

But I am blessed...really

Just thinking of the support you all who are reading this

Continue to pour out upon me/us

Fills me with amazement and encouragement

Thank you so much!

Thinking about these things

Has struck me with the grip the temporary has on us

Or, I should say, me.

I am convinced of the promise of unimaginable eternal happiness

That awaits me in heaven

When I die,

And yet I mostly struggle with the thought of what I'm leaving here.

It's like not being excited about a mouth-watering, medium-rare rib-eye steak dinner

With all of the trimmings,

Because I'm so caught up with the frozen TV dinner I'm currently eating.
(Note: I'm not really eating a frozen TV dinner-Cindy feeds me amazing meals!)

Ridiculous!

This is my prayer

In the midst of these dark times...

"Dear Father, open my spiritual eyes to see

The eternal LIFE that awaits me

The eternal JOY that will be mine

Because of the amazing sacrifice of your Son!

And, Father, 

Until that day comes

Help me to live each day with gratitude

For another day you give me 

To live and love to the fullest.

Amen."