Memorial/Celebration of Dave's Life

 A week ago today

Dave breathed his last breath

And entered into eternity

with Jesus.

It has been a week of processing

for all of us.

Lots of tears, hugs, laughs

and sharing of memories.

We are so appreciative

of all the thoughtful

and loving messages we have received.

We'd like to invite you to

remember and celebrate Dave's life with us.

When: July 24, 2021 at 2:00pm

Where: Crossroads Neighborhood Church

             7555 Old Military Road NE

             Bremerton, WA  98311

Coffee and Donuts Reception will follow.

The memorial/celebration will also be live on YouTube.

The link will be posted here on the blog prior to July 24.

In lieu of gifts, donations may be given

The Coffee Oasis (thecoffeeoasis.com)

Additional Information:

We will not have an open mic at the memorial/celebration.

If you would like to email a memory/story of Dave,

We will print them and create a memory board

to display at the reception.

Memories must be submitted by Tuesday, July 20.

Please send your memories to:

david.frederick@thecoffeeoasis.com

We look forward to sharing this time with you.

The Finish Line

 Yesterday

4:15pm

Dave crossed the finish line

I'd like to share some words

our son Daniel penned this morning.

"I really felt like we lived

in that "thin place'

for the last week.

Heaven was almost tangible

as dad straddled two worlds

especially as he slept the final two days.

Those days were amazingly serene

for how busy my dad's life was.

Being there at the last moment

was like

watching a small step

not a giant leap.

Like a door opened

and gently closed.

No struggle.

God held him between here and there.

God has been so faithful

through this sad

and glorious journey."

Thank you all for walking this journey

with us.

We will write again

when we have a time planned

to remember and celebrate his life.

On the Last Lap

 This is Cindy...

Prior to cancer

Dave has been a runner

I remember when we first were married

He ran in tennis shoes :)

(He was also an excellent tennis player

He played for South Kitsap HS and Biola University)

He wanted to run a 4 minute mile.

Cancer has been an endurance race

There have been some sprints

and there have been a lot of grueling, long up hills

He is now on the last lap 

The crowds in the stands cheering him on 

have been amazing

But now we are all watching in hushed silence

as he nears the finish line.

The Hospice nurse and social worker

were here yesterday.

What caring, compassionate, knowledgeable women.

They helped us to better understand this final lap

They described him with one foot here

and one foot in heaven.

He is looking back to us 

as we remind him of our forever love for him.

And he is looking forward

to those awaiting his entrance into eternity.

We have seen this as he rests peacefully

and then we stir him, seeking a response.

It seems like it makes him struggle to return to this reality.

So now we are the fans watching in hushed silence

as him finishes the race.

We let him rest 

We sit with him

We gently put a hand on him

We quietly sing a song to him

We whisper affirmations of our love to him.

I read a beautiful liturgy yesterday

this phrase jumped off the page to me

"We are not nursing this dear one back to health,

We are stewarding his slow surrender of it."

Wow!

We are stewarding his slow surrender of it.

What a privilege.

The Waters Part

 This is Cindy writing again…

Parting Waters has been the theme

That has run through my head time and again

The past 4 days.

Not many hours after Dave dictated

The last blog entry to me

He started into a hiccupping, vomiting fit

That would not stop.

We had to call 911.

They are amazing.

One of the crew in particular is my hero.

Dave was transported to the ER in Silverdale

Which was again packed to capacity

Because he wasn’t deemed an emergency emergency,

He was placed in a wheelchair in the waiting room.

This mother hen about lost it!

I knew that in his state of weakness

He would truly end up an emergency emergency.

The EMT worked his way up the chain of command

Advocating for Dave

And the charge nurse came to get Dave

(and me which wasn’t the protocol, usually I have to wait in the car)

She took us directly back

Medication was given to curb the hiccupping/vomiting

And the decision was made that Dave needed to be hospitalized.

Jonathan flew in from Colorado

And then our 4 children and I took shifts

Two at a time together

To feed him ice chips, rub his head, and help him

Through gripping hiccups that took his breath away.

This is very scary to him and to us as we continue

To navigate the hiccup challenge.

The next waters that needed to be parted...

Getting him home with the Hospice supports in place.

What a roller coaster

“Mason county can’t get you set up until middle of next week…

If you stay at your house in Bremerton, we can get Hospice set up by Sunday…”

Dave really wanted to be home

So Bremerton was decided upon

The time was set

Ambulance was to pick him up at the hospital at 3:15 and

The Hospice nurse was scheduled to meet us 

at the house at 4:00 on Sunday

The hospital bed was ordered, delivered and set up on Friday

Then…

“Hospice doesn’t usually set up infusion pumps for families

To give their loved one IV meds at home”

Dave can take nothing by mouth

Or the vomiting resumes.

This was unsolved problem for 3 days.

“Ok, the Dilaudid can be set up with the infusion pump

But the other meds will have to be suppositories”

Ugh!

“We can’t get the infusion pump for Sunday

We’ll try for Monday...

Oh, we can't reschedule a Hospice nurse to meet you

Until Thursday!”

WHAT????!!

We sent out the call for prayer

And once again God parted the waters.

Suddenly 1 ½ hours

before the originally scheduled ambulance pick up time

The infusion pump with the Dilaudid was available

The Hospice nurse could be rescheduled for 4:00

And the transfer happened as originally planned

So, we are home

The biggest surprise when we got here

Was the ALL the meds are IV through his port.

So much easier.

(We are learning all sorts of new skills!)

We have an air conditioner and 2 fans directed

On Dave

Wool blankets are stapled up over the windows

To keep the heat from the sun out.

Being home is so much more comfortable

It has allowed grandchildren to get

Their grandpa hugs.

So, how is Dave?

We are in our last days.

He is very weary and very weak

He has had nothing but sips of water by mouth

Since Sunday a week ago.

He can communicate very little.

His days are in God’s hands

And Dave is ready to enter His presence.

A friend texted me the thought that

God is anticipating Dave’s arrival

Just as we anticipate the arrival of someone we love.

I like that.

Thank you Thank you

For all the loving, praying and support to our family.

We feel SO loved.

 

 

 

 

---

 [D1]

Hospice

 This is Cindy 

taking a dictation from Dave...

This is a hard blog to post

Dying is not easy

But I want to be transparent in dying

as I was hoping to be in living.

We made it home to Washington

After a wonderful time with Jonathan

but a difficult time

We flew home yesterday

making it through the check out counter

where they weren't going to let us board

because we didn't have a back up battery 

to the oxygen concentrator

which we were not told about.

Once on the plane

the Alaska flight attendants were wonderful

in providing extra oxygen when needed

As were our fellow passengers.

The descent was rough

But made it through with the extra oxygen.

Our son Jonathan went with us 

helping us along the way

We couldn't have done it without him.

Our Friendster Melissa picked us up at the airport

and brought us home.

We are so thankful for so many friends who have offered

food, transportation and support

all along the way.

Thank you

Today is the day you hope would never come

Entering into Hospice

Makes dying a reality

But I want the reality of dying to be as transparent

as the fight for living

Dying is leaving loved ones

that you care so much about

Going through drawn out pain

that you wish you didn't have to

But in no way do I want it to diminish

the reality of the hope I have in Jesus

Of entering into eternity with Him

That death is not victorious

I have a rock solid hope in Jesus

Not just wishful thinking because

I am dying 

but rooted in years of rock solid evidence

that He is who He says He is 

and He will do what He says He will do

This might be my last blog

but Cindy will finish it for me.

It truly is day by day

Only God knows.

Dave

Road Trip - Day 5+ (Genesee, Colorado)

How do we spell relief?

Arriving at our son's home in Genesee, Colorado

Which we did yesterday, Friday, about 3:30pm!

We are so thankful to have made it

All the way to Jonathan's 

Through all the challenges we have encountered

Mostly due to my bodily weakness.

And yet our car wasn't sure if it was going to make it the last bit either...

The last half of yesterday locking up the brakes

So that at times on I-70

We were unable to travel at more than 15mph!

So an early morning auto mechanic appointment on Monday

Will determine both 

The fixing of the windshield wiper motor

And the extent of what it will cost to fix the brakes

Not to mention anything else that they discover!

In other words...whether or not we still have a car

Or will donate it down here

Because it would cost more to fix than it is worth!

As for Cindy and I...

We will either way

Not be driving back to Washington

(There is no way my body can handle anymore)

But staying a few more days with our son and family

And then flying back...

A quicker and much less painful end to our adventure!

Thankfully also

My doctor was able to prescribe some pain medication

To take the edge off my suffering

Which we picked up today at a local pharmacy.

He has been a rockstar!

The oxygen has also been a huge blessing

Making it much easier to breathe

At the 6,500 foot elevation where they live.

Thanks again so much for caring and supporting us

In this little adventure we have undertaken!

I will follow up in a few days

When we figure out exactly what we are going to do

And how it looks like we will be proceeding

Once we return to Washington

Regarding treatment or no treatment.

My body is definitely winding down

With treatments seeming to hurt me more than help.

Till then...

Dave

Road Trip- Day 4 (Green River, UT)

I am actually writing at 2am on Day 5

Since I couldn't sleep.

Yesterday ended with a crash 

Emotional that is 

Not a car crash!

So I didn't get the blog done

Before we headed to bed.

So this will be brief

As I hope I'm going to get sleepy real quick

And want to try my hand at snoozing!

In terms of traveling

It was another uneventful day

No drama

No car problems

Just a looooooooong 

Very hot day 

That took its toll on both of us.

We made it to our destination

Green River, Utah

At about 6:30pm

The earliest we've arrived at one of our destinations thus far

As Cindy plowed through with driving.

We were finished when we arrived

And collapsed into the hotel

Well at least I did immediately

And Cindy did after bringing in all of our belongings!

Which led to a brief

But serious recognition

That we didn't have it in us to make a return car trip home.

So...what to do?

We hope to arrive at our son's tomorrow

Where we will stay for a few days

Probably longer than originally planned

To fix the windshield wiper motor

And to decide what's next

Which at this time looks like a flight home from Denver

And possibly Stephanie and Tim flying down to drive our car home!

Quite the change, huh?

It seems that this adventure became a bit more than we could handle

Which is probably what many of you were thinking from the beginning!

So...

That's it for now

Looks like we weren't the great adventurers that we'd hoped to be...

Hope to catch up with you at the end of today

To say that we arrived at Jonathan's in Genesee

And give you another update.

Thanks for listening,

Dave